On conquering the devil

Dear Christian brothers and sisters all over the world. Now I'm introducing to you a whole new subject that I haven't talked about but that I've started hearing weekly about in those African prayer evenings: conquering the devil. Last night I lay awake getting inspired on the subject pondering it from each side so now I'd like to share you what I found :). This subject makes me wonder and question because I've learned some whole new kind of prayers contrary to the ones at my church: praying against your enemies instead of praying for them. At my church the most common types of prayers are forgiveness of sin, The Lord's Prayer and healing prayers to help the needy and fragile and to increase world peace. We never pray for anyone's destruction but mainly to help others. Now let me share you some related Scripture to begin with:

"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread." Jesus answered, "It is written:' Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. "If you are the Son of God," he said "throw yourself down. For it is written: "He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone." Jesus answered him, "It is also written:' Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'" Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me." Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written:' Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'" Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him." 
Matthew 4:1-11 

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your Heavenly Father is perfect."
Matthew 5:38-48 

So even Jesus himself teaches in the Bible to do good for your enemies and that's why I've preferred praying for God to open the hearts of my enemies and lead them to salvation and repentance instead of destruction. This is because I believe that it isn't a business of man to revenge his enemies in this life because I trust that God will for sure punish them after life because He knows and sees everything knowing who's loyal to Him and who isn't. Let go and let God. These my beliefs also explain why I so persistently was keeping my ex instead of all those bad things he did to me (read 1 Peter 3:8-22 below). Paul writes also somewhere in his letters that the spouse who doesn't believe in God or obey Him will be blessed by his or her devout Christian partner. From the beginning it was my wish to bless my ex but he answered to my goodness with evil. But as 1 Peter 3:8-22 argues it was better for me to suffer with him doing good and fulfilling all his wishes until the bitter end because God will reward me in the end of times. But then finally it was time to let go and as I'm arguing in my previous post abundance has started coming my way since :).
They preach every time in these prayer evenings how drinking, smoking, lying, cheating etc. are bad things and how a person doing all this is possessed by a devil and I have to say that I get deeply touched every time because I was with someone who did all those things. They wanted us to pray against friends turned foes (which I've experienced a couple of times) and against that person or force (= devil) that's stopping us from succeeding in what we want to do and who's wishing our failure. Also these subjects of prayer are current with me because for now I've failed getting the education that I wanted for this autumn and I've also failed having an apartment for my growing family. There are some people who either predicted my failure in these subjects or didn't want me to succeed: 1) a study advisor/a career psychology told me that I wouldn't make it to university 2) my own mum at first didn't want me to move in quickly with my new fiancé (but now she has met him and changed her mind) 3) A social worker told us that it isn't possible for us to live together or find an apartment in this town 4) until now landlords haven't granted us anything because of their racist/prejudiced attitudes. What else can I do but keep trying and praying for God to open up their hearts?

Suffering for Doing good
"Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, 'Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.' Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened. But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. For it is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit. After being made alive, he went and made proclamation to the imprisoned spirits - to those who were disobedient long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water, and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also - not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at God's right hand - with angels, authorities, and powers in submission to him."
1 Peter 3:8-22 

I also have a personal confession to make regarding this subject: As I already pointed out in my last post I told that few months ago I was at the lowest point of my life and I mean by this that I was on the verge of suicide. Yes, as I learned in the last prayer evening this means that even I got possessed by a devil because of the influence of my ex who was also possessed in his own ways that hurt me so much to the point that I lost my dignity for a while. I have to say that I'm living a very enlightening point of my life right now and all this my contemplation in this post is leading me little by little into an a-ha moment. I haven't talked about devil itself in my blog yet until now but I believe that few months ago I was working on a subject in my post Déja Vu Of Spiritual Awakening which is closely related to being possessed with a devil: listening to Your Everyday Self (= the EGO) instead of Your True Self. So let's have a small recap on what I said about the ego in that post: The ego is insecure, doubtful and afraid and likes to depend on others too much thinking that it will give me security. You know Paul writes in his letters about that power that is making us to do what we wouldn't like to do instead of what we'd like to do and I strongly believe that he's talking about our Everyday Self = the fearful ego = the devil. So on the contrary our True Self must have the meaning of Holy Ghost which will provide us anything we desire as long as we are righteous and believe in it.
So here comes the a-ha: Why did I fall on the verge of suicide with my ex? Because I listened to my insecure, doubtful ego, the devil which made me believe in all those negative things that he told me and did to me! And why am I not yet in university but was only close to an admission? Because I listened to those negative people encouraged by a devil who made me believe that I'm too stupid for that! And why have we not been granted an apartment yet? Because at times I feel like quitting the search because of ungodly prejudiced people who almost make me believe that I'm stupid to listen to my True Self (= The Holy Spirit) which brought me in this town to follow my dreams.

New life
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to everyone of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, then lead diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. 
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written:' It is mine to avenge; I will repay", says the Lord. On the contrary:" If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
Romans 12:1-21

The Bible's takes on beauty and appearance

This subject has been on my mind for months, maybe for almost one year and I guess that I've handled this subject already more or less but this time I'll bring you on some of my new thoughts and inspirations about beauty standards. But why am I bringing this on right now? Because for a while ago I visited Bloggers and there was a really fruitful conversation about secular beauty standards going on. I don't know whether the starter of the conversation was a male or female but surprisingly the nick referred to more male than female in my associations. Anyway, OK, let's say his concern was that he called himself fat and he felt there's a boundary between him and other people because of that and he felt that he isn't accepted because of his shape. I want to note that people gave him mostly some really beautiful and wise responses and the key idea of these responses seemed to be "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". They also said that it matters the most what you think of yourself and when you will learn to love yourself the way you are, you'll be loved in return. But one sentence really touched me because I truly agree:" Even the slim are lonely." They also said that beauty comes from the inside and your inner beauty is reflected on the outside. "Beauty is always found from within." True friends accept you the way you are they also said. From the other hand they also said that he should take more care of his health, maybe to eat healthier and do some exercise. I think that everybody who responded to this conversation were right in their own way.

The reason why this conversation even exists is that media seems to give us a narrow-minded idea about ideal beauty which is that women is ought to be slim and men is ought to be muscley. Or from my point of view this at least used to be ideal beauty about 10 years ago. Once (and not even for so long time ago) I was being dumped by a spiritual guy with creative aspirations for not having big breasts enough or curvier body enough but he was satisfied with my inner beauty. In my opinion this actually seems to be a growing trend: In TV programmes that I've seen ordinary men when being asked on ideal beauty the general of them answered "women's got to have chest" and I actually hear or read more and more men saying that curvy women like Beyoncé and Kim Kardashian are considered sexy. Wow, when I was 11-years-old guys criticized me almost straight to my face for not being beautiful enough because "I was chubby". Well, insecure that I was already then, I dietted for one year - in puberty! And now I'm so mesmerized for hearing that I'm not good enough for being slim?! When I was 11-years-old I even had short hair and I wore glasses until I turned 16. Not standard beauty, eh (or so it seemed to me)? Though I had reached a slim fit and long hair until secondary school I suffered from braces and glasses but by the year 2007 I got them both away and so I had reached the way that I actually look even on this day, now wearing contact lenses.

Actually, to be honest, I've been lately getting really confused about what's the ideal beauty of today. There's no denying that media is still full of those mainly slim women with good-looking abs starting from music videos to the covers of magazines. My current shape is something in between these extremities of curvy and being slim with good-looking abs: I haven't heard anybody calling me fat for about 10 years, so I have to be one of the slimmest kind but without good-looking abs. Well, in my opinion I'm healthy shape for being an average type but I've been asking myself for months, Which way should I go from here? Should I pursue more curves or should I be after good-looking abs? According to media my average type doesn't seem to be sexy. Well, due to my experiences in puberty I'd rather be after good-looking abs or just stay the way I am. But the question is burning inside me, is my average type ever considered beautiful? You see from what I've written in this post that for years I've seen quite a huge effort for improving my looks with natural procedure, without surgery. I'm not even that type of girl who's into make-up but I might use lip gloss at times.
I actually recently started to put a bit more effort to exercise too which has been my weakness for years. I actually already started yoga in 2009 and I had a pretty long break from it until returning to it again. I think yoga is the only exercise that I truly love and that genuinely makes me happy. I've also started to do abdominal workout on a daily basis and tried some dance/aerobic which inspires me but can't beat yoga. As I already pointed out in my previous post the truth is that there truly are moments when I'm feeling myself beautiful or sexy in my own skin, especially when I do yoga. So you would ask me, what's my problem then?

I actually read through my self-analysis in this post and my point seems to be: Is it worth losing your natural self for the standards of others (meaning the secular beauty standards) IF you after all are truly happy with what you are? Well, my answer is NO without any hesitation. OK, now I'm once again going to surprise some of my friends who have known me for long time: If I'm truly honest with myself and close my ears from the standards I wouldn't necessarily change much of anything in my looks, especially not my shape because I consider it being healthy. I also wouldn't necessarily dye my hair - I've never dyed my entire hair but 10 years ago I tried small amounts of red and blonde (not together though!). Anyway, been there done that. If I'm happy with my God-given features so be it. There's no use for changing yourself for people who genuinely don't love you because God, your true friends and your true family have already accepted you. 

 

But to avoid any misunderstanding I'll highlight: There's nothing wrong with dying your hair, following trends and fashion and mainstream and exercising if you ask yourself:" Is this truly me, am I being real?" and your answer is YES. I'm only saying that there's no use of changing yourself for others but if you consider yourself a brave style chameleon then it's part of who you are and nobody should have any rights to disrespect that. This may work for you but it doesn't work for me and it's all beautiful :).  

The best advice that I would give for anyone or the best that I've gotten is:" Stand behind your words." Yes, it usually means that your deeds must equal to your words but I'm seeing this phrase deeper than that: You could include to this also being true to yourself in the way that I've described in this post because if you're trying to be something that you are not that's not standing behind your words, right? All this blog represents being true to oneself because I'm always outspoken and want to encourage my readers to follow your path, whatever it is as long as you're true to yourself. It's all part of your gift and purpose provided by God. YOU are the gift. 

The Bible and beauty 

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14 

The idea behind this Scripture is the same as I had in my previous post: God created human as His image. We are His masterpieces and made unique and different on purpose: We don't have to fit in any standards because we already are the standard! God created only biological twins to fit in the same standard but made it surreal and impossible for the other ones. Let's embrace our different genders, ethnic backgrounds, talents, beliefs, dreams, bodyshapes, wealth and health - This all is part of the magnificent plan. 

"But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 

The world focuses on what people look like on the outside. God focuses on what people look like on the inside. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty and seeing effort to your outfit but as I said in my previous post: God wants us to be and do everything in balance so we shouldn't overdo our efforts towards inner or outer beauty. Both in moderation are good to have.
Now that I'm saying this in my opinion plastic surgery is overdoing your effort over outer appearance in 90 % of the cases. I mean by this that I accept it in cases where your facial features are turned so shapeless that we can't say that you have eyes, lips or nose. I believe that it's part of our human value and rights to have a face. I wouldn't encourage an ordinary healthy person to go and do plastic surgery and I also don't accept plastic surgery done for Down syndrome patients because they do have distinctive facial features.     


"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Proverbs 31:3

Beauty fades with age, so if you are more concerned with your outer appearance, you will be unhappy when the wrinkles come and the number on the scales goes up. God wants us to "fear" Him, which means that we should put Him before any other standards and it doesn't matter to Him that we're getting old: He will still see us beautiful when we continue to reach for Him. 


"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4

This doesn't mean that it would be reprehensible to put effort on your outfit but God would rather see us putting effort on inner beauty which will probably last longer or at least He appreciates it more. I'm saying probably because people do can change in time on the inside and on the outside. 

"Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next." 1 Timothy 4:8 

Exercising and staying in shape is a good thing but God expects us to stay in shape spiritually by reading our Bibles, praying and going to church on a regular basis. In other words, there will be plenty of people who put their time and effort into staying in shape but who are out of shape spiritually. Our heart and soul matter to God more than anything.  

The mysterious woman in this picture is The Queen of Sheba. I chose her because I consider her being a Biblical beauty icon because her legendary beauty is highlighted so much in the Scripture. Also Queen Esther is one of the Bible's beauty icons. But actually if we should choose the most crucial Biblical beauty icon I would name it Mary Mother Of Jesus without any hesitation because as we see the Bible highlights high moral values, justice and inner beauty more than anything else and I think that the Biblical beauty ideals are crystallized the best in Mary. She's been described as humble and diligent putting herself before others.

Bliss is also beauty: when you're happy and smiling and you have a positive outlook on life it becomes easier to appreciate your own beauty and see beauty and goodness in others and around you as well. 

I'm going to make a surprising point: Though the Bible highlights inner beauty I just realized that the entire Song Of Solomon might be the most superficial book of the Bible most of its chapters praising outer appearance as we know and if there's to believe in the lore, the woman praised is The Queen Of Sheba. Having knowledge of both the Bible and Quran I know that both books have similar concepts on outer beauty and appearance because they were both written in Middle East. Knowing the context and era during which both of these holy books were written, they seem to highlight brown eyes, dark skin and thick black hair and as I interpret both books - also a curvy shape as beauty ideals. This is of course obvious because women living in Middle East generally look like this. I also want to highlight the beauty concept of Antiquity because the Bible was written in this era: Against our modern ideal of feminine beauty they actually thought the fatter, the better! They considered slim women like me ill and unsexy! But the ideal beauty concept on men hasn't changed since Antiquity: men are still encouraged to be muscley.

 I'm making a conclusion: The Bible lets me understand that your looks do matter but it would be a much, much bigger loss if your heart and soul were ugly.

 

Beauty secrets from the Antiquity!

      Oils

Oils used in Biblical beauty treatments included myrrh which was given to baby Jesus by The Three Wise Men and later used to anoint his dead body. Esther received a six-month myrrh oil beauty treatment in preparation of her marriage to King Ahasuerus (Esther 2:12). Myrrh moisturizes and heals the skin. Myrrh and other oils, such as cassis oil and frankincense, were also used as perfume at that time. Olive oil was another ancient beauty treatment used for its moisturizing and anti-aging properties:
Woman of Valor teaches how you can make your own Biblical fragrant olive oil treatment: Place a brown glass bottle with cold pressed olive or almond oil, full with herbs on the heater for a period of time. Or heat the bottle with oil and herbs placing the bottle in a pan with hot water for some time or just by placing it in the hot sun. Use this infused oil immediately after showering on your wet skin to make sure the oil absorbs the skin completely. Your skin will not feel oily after using the oil like this.

Nuts

Nuts are mentioned in the Bible for internal and external beauty uses. The staff of Moses' brother Aaron bursts into blooms with ripe almonds in an Old Testament story. Almonds are a source of vitamin E which protects the skin from wrinkles, photo damage and may improve skin texture. Pistachios were used for skin treatments and as food during Biblical times and are believed to have been part of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. Pistachios contain carotenoids, a phytonutrient that helps protect the skin from sunlight-induced inflammation.

Fruit

Fruits mentioned in the Bible include the apricot, mentioned in Proverbs 25:11. Apricots are rich in carotene, a phytonutrient that protects the skin from UV damage. Pomegranates were brought back by spies of Moses to give to the hungry Israelites during the Exodus. They contain more antioxidants than red wine and green tea. Pomegranates contain polyphenols, powerful antioxidants that protect the skin from aging. Pomegranates are now used in skin creams, in addition to be eaten.

Dairy products

Milk baths were another beauty staple of the ancient world. Cleopatra, who ruled before the birth of Christ, was one of the first women on record to have utilized this treatment, though she used camel's milk. Milk contains vitamins D and A, which keep skin strong yet soft, as well as beta hydroxy acids, which slough dead skin from the body. Milk's ingredients also soothe and hydrate newly revealed skin. It may also be used as a hair treatment as it removes the small scales on hair follicles that make hair look dull.

Scents, cosmetics and other procedure

Biblical women may have also used scents such as saffron, myrrh, calamus, nard, cinnamon, henna. Women may have used also beet juice and pomegranate seed juice for blush and lip stain. They also surely had honey and oil massages for moist and soft skin after milk baths. 

Questions for readers: After reading my post do you think that Biblical view on beauty differs from the secular one or are they one and same? Also, what's the ideal beauty of today? Have beauty ideals changed in the past 10 years or have they remained the same? Feel free to comment below.      

                              

Is sexuality our modern God?

"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so. 
And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day." Genesis 1:26-31   

S-E-X. Sex. Yes, you heard me; I said that magic word. Whenever, wherever one says the word "sex" or expresses it in one way or another, miracles start to happen. Strong feelings will arise as well as view numbers whether it being a music video or movie in question. I actually know only two things in the world that cause tremendous passion, tremendous heat and they're sex and religion. And here I am taking a huge risk and talking about both of them combined! Why should it be a risk? Because they both tend to be taboos more or less but it of course depends on which part of the world you live in and what's your culture context. I dare to say that in Western world, in our Christian culture sex has become less and less a taboo. Of course churches have different views on it, some stricter and some more tolerant. I think that the Catholic church and Laestadian church have maybe the most cautious and judging views on expressing one's sexuality while I find my own Lutheran church having some of the most tolerant and laid-back ones. After all, I think that all Christian churches agree on one thing: At its finest and most beautiful state sex is an expression of true, deep love and belongs to marriage.
Well, I dare to disagree a little bit. I personally find there's nothing bad or sinful about having sex when you're engaged. Some may disagree in this modern sexually free world but I wouldn't have sex without a ring on my finger! OR, if you'd have sexual intentions on me prior engagement I'd at least expect you to propose. It's part of my Christian moral and dignity that I'm not into one night's stands and to me sex means commitment. If you aren't ready to engage with me, I'm not the one for you. I don't find my principle on having sex strict at all, I find it realistic and appropriate. I want to keep my self-respect. Let me share you one more scripture which isn't related to sexuality at all but it explains my views on Christianity and worship and it helps you understand why my points on sexuality are how they are:

"In this meaningless life of mine I have seen both of these: the righteous perishing in their righteousness, and the wicked living long in their wickedness. Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise - why destroy yourself? Do not be overwicked, and do not be a fool - why die before your time? It is good to grasp the one and not to let go of the other. Whoever fears God will avoid all extremes. Wisdom makes one wise person more powerful than ten rulers in a city. Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous, no one who does what is right and never sins. Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you - for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others. All this I tested by wisdom and I said, "I am determined to be wise" - but this was beyond me. Whatever exists is far off and most profound - who can discover it? So I turned my mind to understand, to investigate and to search out wisdom and the scheme of things and to understand the stupidity of wickedness and the madness of folly." Ecclesiastes 7:15-25       

After this post there shouldn't be any misunderstandings left anymore about who I am as a Christian. This following passage from Ecclesiastes 7 explains my Christian lifestyle and it's my current favourite and I find this passage THE TRUTH. I interpret this passage like it's OK to gather for yourself some material goodies and it's OK to be rich as long as you won't become greedy and keep it all to yourself; Do enjoy your wealth but don't forget about the ones who are less fortunate. Also don't become too generous so you won't turn into martyrdom. This is actually my biggest life lesson as a Christian! So yes, I do allow pretty much pleasure for myself but I find it's crucial for your (mental) health. If you live more for others than yourself you'll suffer and get sick. Always listen to your heart first and what feels good for you :). Once you've reached bliss it's right time to share it for others too but if you haven't keep searching until you're ready. Part of my pleasure is that I shop but not until I drop! I also allow myself to eat sweets and ice cream at times but not so often that I'd get fat. In the very beginning of my Christianity 4 years ago I hardly allowed any pleasure for myself but now I've learned my lesson. You shouldn't take Christianity too seriously but also not too lightly as Ecclesiastes 7 says. Pleasure is part of life as well as pain but to learn to appreciate pleasure you have to feel the pain first. Now, back to another pleasure:

She:
"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth - for your love is more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the young women love you! Take me away with you - let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers." Song of Songs 1:1-4 
He:
"How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone. Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. Your neck is like the tower of David, built with courses of stone; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors. Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies. Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense. You are altogether beautiful, my darling: there is no flaw in you." Song of Songs 4:1-7

The purpose of my post is to draw an end for the prejudice that Christianity would judge sex as something evil. Look how erotic were these passages of Song of Songs! Even the Genesis is fully sexual! I also already pointed out that sex isn't a taboo anymore in Christian countries. All you have to do is to look around you when you're hanging out and right when you want to listen to music or watch TV sex is right there. Sexuality is everywhere, it's in us; we can't run, we can't hide. All we should do is that we should embrace it and accept that that's how God meant it to be.
But since Antiquity, the Bible's "birth time", there have been also reprehensible expressions of sexuality coming up like prostitution and I believe that my readers agree with me. I also don't accept porn and stripper's occupation and poledancing as a hobby is somewhere on the limits of my disapproval because I relate it to stripper's occupation. To avoid any misunderstandings, I approve any other dance and I'm trying to learn to dance myself. There's also nothing reprehensible about model's job and doing lingerie and swimsuit/bikini photo shoots as long as you keep your clothes on and won't go to PlayBoy style! Nude modelling equals to porn. Incest, rape, molestation etc... A lot of bad expressions of sexuality have come out since our society has become overly sexed-up.
Also, there are for sure people in the world who think that everything should be allowed in love and sex. I do think myself that there's got to be laws and authorities and ethics and moral in order to keep this world in order and in order to secure our happiness. I find that my views are realistic on everything that I've written in my blog so far and even though I support tolerance very highly I don't think it can be good for us to tolerate and accept everything with 100 %. Then we wouldn't be talking about tolerance anymore, we would be talking about weakness and insecurity.

People's body image has been overly exaggerated in the media: If men aren't muscley and women aren't lean with big breasts and long hair we aren't sexy. If you aren't sexy or beautiful you are nothing. You can't be loved, you can't be wanted, you can't be successful in your endeavors and career goals. If you aren't sexy you end up being a lonely loser. That's what media is trying so hard to make us believe. But can this narrow-minded image of sexiness be the only answer? Aren't we sexy if we don't fulfill media's standards of ideal beauty? What if sexiness is a state of mind instead of state of body? The next things that I'm going to say will probably come as surprises for many people that know me: There truly are days and times when I feel myself sexy in my figure and in my opinion we Christian women have rights to feel so because I don't find that the Bible would judge sexuality and sexiness as hard as many people seem to believe. I feel myself sexy especially when I do yoga as in yoga you embrace your body the way it is and when you exceed yourself in yoga poses your self-esteem gets better. I should be glad that I don't suffer from obesity or an eating disorder. I'm just good and sexy enough in my own healthy average body shape that's often described being slim.

To close my subject I'll handle my title more closely: What do I exactly mean when I'm asking 'Is sexuality our modern God'? To me it feels like today's people worship sexuality instead of God. We worship media's sexy images on TV and magazines wanting so bad to be like them, they have become our highest secular examples. We use so much time and effort to get that media's body shape. Those people in the media are idols as they say: idol equals to an image of God. Yeah, the Bible says that all people are images of God but now when I'm talking about these media's idols I'm comparing them to the Bible's golden bull, false god. God created sex so rationally thinking sex can't equal to God. But if we think about creation and the way biosystem and nature work, isn't that sexual energy? God created sex and sex creates life, obviously. So when we have sex do we become gods, do we become creators? When God created human as His image did He mean sexuality is the image? That's one possibility and theologies constantly argue about this.

Oh and the most important thing: I'm pleased to inform you that my debut book The Rainbow of Tones will be published on October 2012 or if it delays you could expect it to be available on November. As you may already know it's a poem book that will also contain pop, rock and gospel lyrics. The subjects in my poems vary from sorrow to loneliness, self- and body image, fantasies and imagination, love, spirituality and multiculturalism and tolerance. My pop and rock lyrics deal with some similar subjects but in my pop lyrics I also comment on such social issues as poverty, racism, global warming, women's status worldwide and the conflict of 3 Book Religions.  

What's your comment on this subject? Is sexuality our modern God? Feel free to comment below :).       
        

Christian meditation - Is there one?

My mum revealed some details of my birth that I hadn't known until this day. For a while it had seemed that my heart was beating less but for some reason God wanted to save me. Ten years later God saved me also from the eye of storm that could have killed me and the rest of our small family. He saved me once again for some reason. Also there was to be the third incident that might have endangered my ability to breath... I have realized that I might have some difficulty with it as I breath heavily. I chose a couple of pictures of rainforest for this post as they're the lungs of Earth and in my today's subject, Christian meditation, breathing is the central point.

But to continue about my breathing it's like I haven't lived fully until this day and as if my struggle of existence would be a metaphor of that. Now that I've explored some Christian meditation from books and Internet and started practicing it daily, it has opened my eyes to see my existence from a renewed ankle. It's a lot more than about breathing. It's true that my life is now happier, fuller and more balanced than ever before, because I've found love and I'm convinced that it fills me - but still there's something missing. My dreams are just about to be realized, but despite all this mercy and love I've forgotten to love myself. I've given up some things, because others have told me that I couldn't or shouldn't do them. They have told me that I shouldn't dream of translator's job, because I couldn't cope with my Maths learning difficulty in university. They have told me that I wouldn't be a true Christian if I practiced yoga - I gave it up 1,5 years ago though it helped me and I read that during positions I could meditate on my personal manifestation of God which is Jesus. I'm now 20-years-old and I'm convinced that this is the best time of my life to use all my potential. So why wouldn't I use it? Despite others' narrow-minded beliefs I'm working so hard to graduate, because even if I failed I could be at least proud of myself because I didn't give up without trying. During these past years I've learned that I'm blessed in my struggle, because it draws me closer to God. Wonders of Jesus told in New Testament show how God can turn impossible into possible: those before blind see and the crippled walk etc. Isn't it time to follow our calling forgetting all doubts set on us and just lean on God? Will you join me with this new possibility of being closer to God and starting to live fully with all of your breathing capacity?

Meditation in the Bible

It is believed that Jesus and John the Baptist practiced meditation and here are some Bible references that let us know meditation is accepted for Christians:

Psalms chapter 46:10 tells "us to be still and know that I am God".

Psalms 63:6 ask us to spend hours in grateful meditation if we're sleepless at night.

I'll ponder all the things God has accomplished, and give a long, loving look at His acts. -Psalms 77:12

Joshua chapter 1 verse 8, admonishes us to meditate on God's word day and night.

Psalms chapter 4:4 persuades us "When you are in your beds serach your hearts and be silent"

David desired in Psalms 104:34, that his meditations be pleasing to the Lord.

Isaiah declared in Chapter 50:4, "He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught."

Moses spent 40 days on the mountain abiding and learning from God (Exodus 34-35)

Paul received revelation and saw visions from heaven (2 Corinthians 12). John wrote visions that are recorded in the book of Revelations.

The Bible says even Jesus spent hours alone with God (Luke 5:16; Mark 1:35)

How to do Christian meditation?

Meditating with a mantra or a Bible phrase

This can be accomplished each day by carving out time each day to sit quietly before the God where you are free from distractions. The ocean or secluded areas of nature are great places to meditate, but a quiet area at your home works just as well. Initially, meditating on Lord by abiding may be difficult because our mind tends to be restless and wander but with consistency you'll gain more and more control over your thoughts. Many meditators choose a biblical passage or word to focus on and anchor their attention, often called a mantra. Your mantra or biblical phrase could be "the Lord is my Shepherd", "I walk by faith", "the joy of the Lord is my strength", "I cast my cares upon the Lord" or "peace be still". You can also say "Come Lord Jesus" which is suggested because of its relevance in scriptures and its lack of an emotional or mental references, which inhibits our minds from creating a mental attachment to the word.

Meditating with a Sacred word or Scripture passage

You can also select a sacred word like "Jesus" or "Jehovah" to meditate on. Meditate in silence or recorded music playing in the background. It's best to time the music or use a timer so that you're not worried about being late for work or missing an appointment. As you meditate, become fully present by paying attention to your breathing and your sacred. As you breath in and out, think about the breathe of life entering your lungs and penetrating every cell of your body. In Genesis, it says that God breathed the breath of life into Adam. Visualize God's breathe entering your lungs and filling you with heath, energy and life. You can silently repeat your sacred word in alignment with your breathing or anytime your mind begins to wander off. You can also create a mental picture in your mind to focus on like sitting at the foot of Jesus or touching his garment. AS you practice being still and calming your thoughts you'll sense a greater feeling of God's presence and a greater sensitivity to hearing his voice.

You'll begin to sense the yearning of the Holy Spirit as he drops words or impressions on your heart. As you practice this form of meditation you'll find old weights and worries seem to disappear. No evil thing can stand in God's presence.

Using Guided Christian Meditations

Guided meditations are another method hat can help you to meditate on Christ. Guided meditations are usually on CD, MP3 or cassette. Guided Christian Meditations are great for beginning meditators and are a good transition to learning to meditating by abiding or with a mantra. Some people need the added stability and structure of being guided through their meditation experience. Most guided meditation CDs begin with relaxation exercises followed by a scriptural narrative. Some are filled with biblical stories; others are more visual or interactive like taking you on a walk through nature or nailing your cares to the cross. Guided Christian meditations can also cover a wide variety of topics that help you trust God for healing, to control negative thoughts, or to release painful memories of the past.

Meditate on God's Word

Another popular and more historical way of meditating is what the Christian's monks called contemplative prayer. This form of meditating involved selecting a short scripture or biblical passage and then reflecting on it for the entire day. During their reflections, the monks would think about how these particular scriptures were relevant to their lives. They took ownership of the scriptures by making them their own. They measured their behavior by them and contemplated what changes they needed to make so that their life personally reflected the passages. You can add this form of meditating to your daily devotion, by selecting and writing down a particular passage and then ask God to make this passage real to you. Interestingly, the passage will seem to take on a life of its own. Scripture says that God's word is like a two edge sword, it is alive and it quickens us (Hebrews 4:12). We are changed by the word; but the word has to get into our heart and our spirit and not just our minds. Meditating on the word by taking small bites and then chewy them slowly is transformative and much more effective than just reading whole chapters of scriptures.

Join a Christian Meditation Group

Lastly, consider joining a Christian Meditation Group. Through the World Community for Christian Meditation WEbsite (WCCM) (http://www.wccm.org/) or Contemplative Outreach (http://www.contemplativeoutreach.org/) you may be able to locate a group in your area. If no groups are available, consider starting your own. The organization provides resources on how to start and maintain a Christian Meditation Group. By joining a group you can receive instruction on meditating as well as benefit from the knowledge of some veteran meditators. Just like corporate church worship can be uplifting, energizing, and unifying, meditating on God collectively also ushers in the sweet spirit and presence of God. Groups usually meet once or twice a week and are free of charge. During the meeting, a short teaching relating to meditation or spiritual growth is shared by the facilitator. THis is followed by a time of meditation which last for about 20 minutes. Afterwards, there may be a shared a discussion or believers may be asked to leave quietly as to not to disturb those still waiting on the Lord.  

Try Christian meditation right now!


Some phrases you can try to meditate on that have especially helped me: 1. God has blessed the works of my hands 2. With my faith and patience, I receive all God has promised 3. Nothing is Impossible to him who believes 4. I receive whatever I believe. I also have a Christian Morning Meditation in my mp3 player (of course recorded by Rhonda Jones) and I find it a true blessing to be able to begin my day like this :). According to my experience Christian meditation purifies your mind for a moment from stress and worries and it blesses your life with new ankles to it.


You can meditate on any phrase or passage by using this simple form:


1. Read the phrase or passage 3 times aloud. Each time you read it, place emphasize on a different word.


2. Take a deep breath in... exhale. Repeat.


3. Close your eyes and silently repeat the meditation 3 times in alignment with your breathing.


4. Take in another cleansing breath and and exhale.


5. Spend a few more moments enjoying the silence.


6. Open your eyes.


7. Ask God to make these words alive in you today.


8. Ponder the meditation throughout the day.


9. Thank God for His divine love, guidance and protection.


All the credits and rights of this information I shared about Christian meditation in this post belong to Rhonda Jones (picture above) and they're based on my FREE daily Christian meditations and lessons on the subject that I receive from her through e-mail. Got interested? Please visit Rhonda Jones's website http://www.thechristianmeditator.com/ for more information and Guided Christian Meditations on CD and MP3 to be purchased. Also the instructions that I presented in this post for doing Christian meditation were provided by Rhonda Jones's e-mails that anybody can receive for FREE by subscribing in her website. Find "The Christian Meditator" also in Youtube. 

Stronger in faith and hope

Dear readers. I'm sorry for being away for so long but I've been really busy with my studies and I still am. Despite that I've still visited my blog continuously and I truly haven't forgotten my readers. Opposite I've been thinking of you and felt guilty about not being able to update my blog as also new readers and followers have joined along. There's been so much to think about and I'll share those thoughts with you today. And just like in my previous blog posts I hope writing about my growing as a Christian inspires you or you find encouragement in it. In the past weeks there's happened little by little something in my spirit that has grown my faith and self-esteem in my life and my today's blog post is dealing with that. Also on this blog post I'll start dealing with a subject which I believe I know much about or at least it's very close to my heart - the subject is dreams and making them true.

I told in one of my previous blog posts that I'm struggling with a learning difficulty which I can admit to be Maths - I do well in the rest of the subjects. My learning difficulty is so demanding that it might endanger my possibility to graduate but until now I've made the courses with help of my boyfriend's friends. To realize my dream of becoming a translator or an English teacher I must be really hard-working on this adult grade of high school so I can apply to university. To graduate from high school doing 4 baccalaureates would be enough but if I truly want to keep even the hope alive for achieving one of those degrees in university I must do 6. If I couldn't make my way to university my second considerable choice would be sign language interpreter studies in college. Because my baby is due on May my parents are worried about that I should quit my studying, but because adult grade of high school is studied at home there shouldn't be concern of that: I can do my courses while baby is sleeping by my side and as I'm anyway mostly at home I don't see a need for maternity leave or parental leave. So luckily I heard from The Social Insurance Institution that I can study during those leaves and still get the allowances. I've also admitted that we have some financial problems but now that my boyfriend has a better job we have seen a sparkle of hope. And as I'll be busy with doing my baccalaureates until 2012 or even 2013 that barely gives me time for publishing a book but I'm trying to realize this dream with realistic one year's delay.


Yes, this all sounds very demanding but there's something that keeps me going: Shakira has inspired me with her song Waka Waka, because every time I hear that song it's like she's talking about my struggles. Her joy and strength also gives me joy and strength. She's also convinced that quality education is the key out of poverty and for making young people's dreams true. She has said:" Education is a birthright and a quality education is the only tool that a child has to turn dreams into reality." So she's truly my inspiration in this life situation! I'm also ready to study hard for the sake of my baby because after university our financial worries are over. I have to say that these weeks Shakira has been the push for giving me faith to survive but I've seen the Sun Comes Out (Sale el Sol) also behind other clouds: my boyfriend's better job, my study advisor showed my bigger chance for passing the Math courses, TSII showed green light for both money and studying... My prayers are being answered but no-one else can after all lead me to success and happiness than myself. I have to keep on my positive, ambitious attitude no matter what. Though my parents would have rather liked our child not to be born yet I have also faith that God protects life and won't turn our hopes down. I have to believe that in these challenging circumstances God is with me. I believe that the faith that I've had towards my dreams at a very young age has also formed into belief in God during these years. After all God is the Dream Giver but that's all another blog post to come...

Before my spirit was a soft lamb and easy to slaughter in its weakness and humility. Now my spirit is still soft but it's strong and confident in its beauty like a lion that sunbathes in the heat of safari. The lion knows its purpose is to hunt the gazelle, to eat it and beat it - the same way we will beat our struggles and challenges. We will become superior to them just like lion rules the jungle, because Jesus Christ rules the world. Jesus Christ is superior to our struggles and challenges, because He suffered and died for us. That hope won't let us down.

Waka Waka (This Time for Africa) lyrics by Shakira

You're a good soldier/ choosing your battles/Pick yourself up/And dust yourself off/And back in the saddle

You're on the frontline/Everyone's watching/You know it's serious/We're getting closer/This isn't over

The pressure's on/You feel it/But you've got it all/Believe it

When you fall get up/Oh oh.../And if you fall get up/Eh eh...

Tsamina mina/Zangalewa/Cuz this is Africa/Tsamina mina eh eh/Waka Waka eh eh/Tsamina mina zangalewa/Anawa aa/This time for Africa

Listen to your god/this our motto/your time to shine/Don't wait in line/Y vamos por todo

People are raising/their expectations/Go on and feed them/this is your moment/no hesitations

Today's your day/I feel it/You paved the way/Believe it

If you get down/Get up oh oh.../when you get down/Get up eh eh...

Tsamina mina zangalewa/Anawa aa/This time for Africa/Tsamina mina eh eh/Waka Waka eh eh/Tsamina mina zangalewa/Anawa aa/Tsamina mina eh eh/Waka waka eh eh/Tsamina mina zangalewa/This time for Africa

Declaration of self-respect

Dear readers. Today I will talk about a subject which is on the media all the time (especially in womens magazines) but I think that there can never be enough encouragement for self-respect for women in this world as everybody knows how poor and inequal status our sisters are in developing countries in and how media drags womens healthy self-esteem with surreal demands on beauty and pressure for sexiness. I am not saying that it is turning down everyone but unfortunately it still has effect - But also thank God for those strong women who already know who they are and will not be turned down so easily and so can stop reading this post right now if willing. But for those insecure, fragile sisters over there who are still searching for themselves, I dedicate this post and I hope this will help you to love yourself the way you are and will encourage you to not to give in. I am with you, because in the name of honesty I have to admit that I am one of those sisters myself and this post is as much for you as this is for myself. The next that I will write I would teach also for my own daughter and God bless one day soon I really will.


1. YOUR BODY - TEMPLE OF GOD.

Look back to my post Wisdom behind beauty and creation where I remind how you are precious piece of art made by God to His image. No matter about your genes - if you have red hair, black hair, blonde hair, brunette, curly or straight, long or short or bold, blue or even green - or blue, brown, gray, black or even green eyes with or without glasses - God loves you the same and I think that from celebrities Anastacia is a great example of how you can be cool and beautiful even with glasses. Or whether your skin was white, red, yellow, chocolate or black or even if you had piercings or tattoos or freckles - God loves you. Child, youngster, adult or senior, healthy, sick or disable. Tall or short, slim or chubby, trendy or not - for God you are always unique and beautiful the way you are, you are sheep of the Good Shepherd and child of Heavenly Father. God lives deep inside your soul and heart as His Spirit. Your body is His temple and He has known every bit of your heart, soul and body even when you still were inside your mothers womb. He even knew your name before He let your parents realize it. You are a beautiful girl but God wants you to use your beauty right, to respect your body. I am not actually forbidding you but I am just asking you to think twice before having sex before marriage or admiring modelling. Why should you envy models or want to be like them. Showing your body and surface for the world can be one kind of self-respect but it depends how you do it. Even modelling can be good if you do not take nude or porn photoshoots - even underwear and swimming-suit models are a bit cheap. God likes it the best when you justly keep your clothes on. And no matter if you follow fashion or not, because God cares only about fashion of your heart. For more encouragement about this subject I recommend listening to soul sisters Mary J Blige and Mandisas soul and rnb.


2. KEEP YOUR COOL - KEEP STRONG WILL


Kindness is beautiful and Jesus appreciates it, but I am sure that he does not want you to suffer from it, to be kind until martyrdom despite he did it himself. Once again if you are a strong woman reading this post you probably fulfill this characteristic already. So with keeping up strong will it is easy to begin with saying no, no, NO. I mean if you are too kind you easily forget your own will and because you do not want to hurt your fellowmans feelings you say yes to almost everything he or she asks you. So you please your friend rather than yourself and I am telling you that will not do for long! It can get humiliating you know. So if your conscience says that something is wrong or just does not feel good say it. You do not have to do anything that does not feel like yourself whether it is wearing certain clothes, smoking, drinking, overdone generosity, beginning sexual intercourse etc. You know the best who you want to be, you know your worldview, moral and values so just keep on the good spirit! No one is higher than you nor below you so you have right to say and represent whatever you want. Remember, whoever tries to influence you or control you on Earth, is powerless. Firstly, your true boss is your heart and also your sense, secondly your only true Master and Commander is God. I believe that when you follow these two you are walking on a safe path and you cannot do wrong. And I also want to add to strong will fighting for your dreams - when you really, really want something but you fail first time achieving that goal do not give in but try again until you reach it.

3. ALLOW YOUR FEELINGS

You're human not an angel. Only angels are in state of perfect bliss feeling only joy. So don't feel ashamed or sorry about your tears and anger, they purify your heart and lighten your burden. Besides, by every tear you're closer to God and closer to Jesus Christ as he can heal the broken heart. If you're sometimes angry let it out, because God is forgiving and He created you to be like this. When we ate the Forbidden Fruit we weren't in angelic state anymore but the moment we ate the first bite God gave us this various range of human feelings. Even though anger hurts for a while, in anger there lies your sense of justice. You get angry if someone mistreats you and the others. Jesus accepts your anger, because He followed the paths of justice: Just remember how he became angry when Lord's temple was full of merchants and bankers. "You make a cave of robbers of Lord's temple!" and he overturned the booths and drove off the merchants. That was righteous anger and your anger can be righteous as well if you use it right. I mean God of course doesn't accept such extreme manifestations of anger such as violence in all its forms.

The meaning of life

I was born during summer's hottest time when white roses bloomed under the window of my first room. My christening took place at my home but I was to be Christian only in name for several years - almost my entire childhood. But in the priest's blessing there was to be my safe haven... But "when I was a child, I talked like a child, I had child's mind and child's thoughts (1 Cor 13:11)". In my case that meant that I didn't give much thoughts for God - I don't even remember asking my mum where did I came from, why do I live? My parents aren't believers. My dearest passed-away grandparents were though, but I couldn't have any of their ideaology until I turned 15. Nevertheless, I cast my first prayers when I was 12-years-old but I stopped before secondary school (even though I was answered). Maybe I got a tiny spiritual awakening when I was in a deathly dangerous storm by motorboat with my parents and our dog on my 10-years birthday... which was just about to become our dying day. God protected us for some reason that night. Today I believe that He didn't let us die, because He had (and has) a plan for my life. And that and another incident made me ponder meaning of life and write about it today.


To continue telling about my childhood I have to say that my parents pampered me a lot. They still do but by God's will I now enjoy my freedom and independence living together with my darling. My parents gave me nearly everything that I wanted: my room was full of every kind of vain stuff that I had collected through my childhood (you can imagine!). So yes, I was a really selfish child and I hated sharing my toys and videos and anything I had for the other kids. That's why I wonder why I had quite many friends anyway... I was so materialistic you know and I remember myself being jealous to one believer girl from my class. I was jealous because she was beautiful and she had seen more world than I that time, she became girlfriend of my first crush in history and she was sporty and musical and until this day I'm neither of them. But now years and years later I realize that now we could be maybe good friends.

Anyway, secondary school was to be the turning point of my life. That time I got depressed after one troublesome incident and I was in the shadows for 6 months. I even wanted to die, because I didn't know what to believe in anymore. The psychology couldn't help me. But then one day I got so tired, hopeless and miserable that I couldn't help but open the Bible - and when I did I couldn't stop reading it because I found in there a promise of new life. I even started my real prayer life that time: I read the Bible just every day and bowed my head for series of intensive prayers. Little by little God healed me and He gave me a new heart and new personality: I realized that I must give up vain owning and replace it with the gift of giving which is love. So I ended up donating 90% of my collection of vain stuff to charity - stuff that I didn't really need myself but that could cheer day of someone else. My parents couldn't understand it but despite their anger I followed my heart and I found joy and meaning of my life: love. Now I know that even if I lost everything God would take care of me with His eternal love. Now I live for loving others before myself, putting their needs before my own: a selfish girl became a generous woman. And I feel blessed: even if I don't own much of anything I'm still richer than any rich; instead of collecting material stuff I collect treasures for heaven.

What's the meaning of your life? Or what's your right way of life and what makes it good and worthy? In this blog I'll mainly deal with spiritual issues but I guess there will be some talk of wellness and creativity too. You won't find any superficial writings from this blog: even if I'd write about celebrities I'd concentrate on writing about their philosophy and spiritual experience or about their possible charity work. I want to talk about making the world a better place to live. I'd like to offer issues that make you think or that help you to accept and love yourself and people around you. I guess the target group of my issues are more women than men but read or not: the choice is yours :).