Jesus turned my life around

Dear Christian sisters and brothers all over the world. Once again it has taken a few months that you haven't heard from me. This spring I was at the lowest point of my life and I realized that in order to be able to fulfill my mission in life and help others once again I should help myself first. In the end of April something happened that shook me awake. My unfaithful ex had promised me for months to leave his "secret" lover for me and our son and this should have happened before my son's 2nd birthday. The birthday was drawing close and an evening or two before that my voice within told me:" Tomorrow your life's going to change... whatever that means." To be completely honest with you now that I've seen what has followed since that evening I believe that the voice talking within me was GOD Himself! I'm reasoning this starting from the events of the next day: Me and my ex had our last heated fight about why he's treating me like that etc., why is he still staying in our apartment if he doesn't love me etc. etc. and the fight resulted finally in something that made me so shocked that I couldn't move for long time. From that moment on the house wasn't a home anymore and though our arguments had been serious for the past year now for the first time I seriously felt that I had to get out of there. At that very moment I didn't know what else to do than dial the Church Supporting number. I told this Christian elderly woman sincerely what had happened between us on that day and during the past year and she begged me to promise her that I would call police straight after we hung up. She also prayed something so beautiful for me and my son that touched me into tears and I dialed the number. So on that same day I ended up talking with a social worker as well and visiting a doctor that told me:" I think there are loyal men in this world as well." I went there for some sleeping pills but I after all never used them because only a week after that some miracles started happening :). I was staying at my parents when I started thinking whether I should start searching for company or not... To me this was a question of life and death because to me life is meaningless without love. Would my destiny be to die young and alone? Or would I finally find a man worth me?

The answer to the last question is YES. I have finally found my one true soul mate for life: the one who shares my faith, similar values and principles and life style and the one who knows and fulfills my needs and desires without me having to tell them aloud :). These are the most significant qualities of a soul mate but beside them we have also similar taste of music. He fulfills the most important qualities of the man of my dreams and his values, principles and life style match to those of mine and my parents. I also love his moral values of sharing and giving which match to mine. He proposed to me on June 1st so we've been now engaged for two and half months but we chatted all May so that makes 3 months of togetherness. I have finally found someone with who I can be true to myself. Our firstborn is due March 6th which will be my another fulfilled dream because I've wanted a minimum of two children. I have prayed since 2007 for something real and lasting and now I've found someone with whom to pray together and stay together. 

For the past two years my faith was sized of a mustard seed and for most of the days I was so depressed and stressed that I had no strength for my usual long prayers but I could just sigh and cross or simply ask:" God help me." But you see I received my miracle anyway :).  

  We prayed together with the pastor a lasting relationship for us and they sang a welcome song for me in the Anglican Church. It feels like destiny that we were both born on the 5th day of some month and that he belongs to Anglican Church because I've considered joining it whenever possible for a few years. Also it brings the taste of destiny into our lives that I used to nickname myself Annuli in 2004 and that I found almost the same name from the list of Igbo names: Anuli means "joy" and differs to my old nickname only by one letter. So God has given me a new name and a new life. For few years I've been complaining here in my blog lack of love and lack of money but now I'm richer emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially than I've been for ages. I still have little but I must be closer to abundance than ever before :). I feel blessed surrounded by my new Christian love, friends and family. I also enjoy learning this new African culture and language. Now only one thing is missing to make our abundance perfect: We must receive an apartment for our growing family by God's grace! 
I also didn't pass to university yet for Development Studies or Finnish Language & Literature but to my consolation I almost did pass the Finnish Language & Literature (yeah you heard me: I indeed didn't fail it but I was close to admission). But I'm not here to give up because I'm going to study for an academic year of Theology in Evangelical Institute which will help me to prepare for next year's Theology entrance exams or they make it possible that by studying this course I may have a straight admission to university without taking the exams first :). So my plan is to apply next year again for Development Studies, Finnish Language & Literature and Theology. It's wonderful about my upcoming Theology year that I'll be learning Greek, I'll have a chance to rehearse working in some non-profit and that I'll be attending divine services at school. To close my post I want to note the Nigerian gospel music that I uploaded for you to enjoy from Youtube :). 

Love knows no fear

"God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:16-18

I have never been before this brave in my life to call police about someone that I loved and to take him to court. I've never been this brave to leave everything behind and move to another town to follow my dreams. At first I was just extremely afraid with my ex and he was holding me back but then I met my husband-to-be and I wasn't afraid anymore. I learned this spring and summer two important Christian lessons: Having faith sized of a mustard seed is better than no faith at all and you have to have courage to LOVE again and follow your heart and dreams because GOD provides for you and He hears your tiniest, weakest prayer. 

I dedicate this blog post to Stanley, my husband-to-be :).

PS: HAPPY INTERNATIONAL NELSON MANDELA DAY TO ALL OF MY FOLLOWERS!

Solomon and the Queen of Sheba

"Now when the queen of Sheba had heard of the fame of Solomon she came to Jerusalem to test him with hard questions, having a very great retinue and camels bearing spices and very much gold and precious stones. When she came to Solomon, she told him all that was on her mind. And Solomon answered all her questions; there was nothing hidden from Solomon which he could not explain to her. And when the queen of Sheba had seen the wisdom of Solomon, the house that he had built, the food of his table, the seating of his officials, and the attendance of his servants, and their clothing, his cupbearers, and their clothing, and his burnt offerings which he offered at the house of the LORD, there was no more spirit in her. And she said to the king, "The report was true which I heard in my own land of your affairs and of your wisdom, but I did not believe the reports until I came and my own eyes had seen it; and behold, half the greatness of your wisdom was not told me; you surpass the report which I heard. Happy are your wives! Happy are these your servants, who continually stand before you and your wisdom! Blessed be the LORD your God, who has delighted in you and set you on his throne as king for the LORD your God! Because your God loved Israel and would establish them for ever, he has made you king over them, that you may execute justice and righteousness." Then she gave the king a hundred and twenty talents of gold, and a very great quantity of spices, and precious stones: there were no spices such as those which the queen of Sheba gave to King Solomon. ... And King Solomon gave to the queen of Sheba all that she desired, whatever she asked besides what she had brought to the king. So she turned and went back to her own land, with her servants." (2 Chronicles 9)

"(the supposed queen of Sheba:)Oh, that you would kiss me with the kisses of your mouth! For your love is better than wine, your anointing oils are fragrant, your name is oil poured out; therefore the maidens love you. Draw me after you, let us make haste. The king has brought me into his chambers. We will exult and rejoice in you; we will extol your love more than wine; rightly do they love you. I am very dark, but comely, O daughters of Jerusalem, like the tents of Kedar, like the curtains of Solomon. Do not gaze at me because I am swarthy, because the sun has scorched me. My mother's sons were angry with me, they made me keeper of the vineyards; but, my own vineyard I have not kept! Tell me, you whom my soul loves, where you pasture your flock, where you make it lie down at noon; for why should I be like one who wanders beside the flocks of your companions?

"(the supposed Solomon:)If you do not know, O fairest among women, follow in the tracks of the flock, and pasture your kids beside the shepherds' tents. I compare you, my love, to a mare of Pharaoh's chariots. Your cheeks are comely with ornaments, your neck with strings of jewels. We will make you ornaments of gold, studded with silver.

"(the supposed Queen of Sheba): While the king was on his couch, my nard gave forth its fragrance. My beloved is to me a bag of myrrh, that lies between my breasts. My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms in the vineyards of Enge'di"

"(the supposed Solomon): Behold, you are beautiful, my love; behold, you are beautiful; your eyes are doves. Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly lovely. Our couch is green, the beams of our house are cedar, our rafters are pine." (Song of Solomon 1)

Today I'll still continue with the same theme I wrote last time about: love. Yes, the deepest and most important message of Christianity is love. And I've said the Bible is full of great examples of love, especially the New Testament, but to my mind the most wonderful example from the Old Testament is the story of King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba. Everybody knows the story. So why do I want to share it in my diary once again? Because it's especially touching me on this day and I believe it can also teach our modern hearts. This story is also one of my favourites from the Bible. The Bible doesn't tell clearly that Solomon and Queen of Sheba had been married or even lovers, but I bet Song of Solomon 1 proves they really were. Today we're living in multicultural Europe immigration and refugees being the key words. We can't avoid contact between different races and cultures and I absolutely recommend it for forgetting the prejudice and opening our hearts for tolerance. There are more and more mixed couples in Europe and this has been usual in the USA already for decades: one child may have various genes from different backgrounds; Latin, African, American, Irish, Scottish etc. Even Solomon and Queen of Sheba were a multicultural couple one being Ethiopian and another being Arabic. They probably had a child together, named David after Solomon's father. Because of the pressure of Solomon's government and counsellors the Queen had to return to Ethiopia with their baby and Solomon's best priests, soldiers, gold and everything she desired. The government couldn't accept the Queen's religion but after they were made to divorce she brought Judaism with her to Ethiopia and was believed to be converted herself as well. The way they divorced proves their huge amount of love and the unfortunate fact that has become more like a rule than exception in modern Europe: however much the parties of different races and cultures may love each other, they're probably separated by religion or by pressure of their families; in modern Europe this happens to Christians and Muslims. Solomon had 100 wives with at least 100 religions and the government and Solomon's priests couldn't accept any of them. Solomon loved the Queen more than any of these wives and he was willing to make her the Queen of Israel. Their love was amazingly wonderful and beautiful, because they loved so passionately and truly and they were 100 % equal even though they were of different colour: the Queen had as much wealth and authority as Solomon had and the Queen wanted to have something from Solomon's culture: their equality and tolerance were the things that my readers could learn from on this day. Jesus loves the immigrants too, I'm absolutely convinced about that. I find a lot of anti-racism message in the teachings of Jesus and in Paul's interpretation of them.

True love

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part.But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away." (1 Cor 13:1-10)

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written:" For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter." Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:35-39)

I told you in my first post that I found from the Bible a promise of new life. But I didn't tell you what I actually asked every time from God in my prayers: true love, a husband and children, because in fact that time I was so lonely and felt myself so deceived that I craved something true to my life that would also remain in it. I have to tell you that I prayed for this for 3 years and every time I felt at my heart the same answer: the right man would come to my life. I'm currently engaged with a handsome man who believes in God. But he isn't perfect and I'm not perfect. I believe he truly loves me and his strenghts fill my weaknesses. He's my blessing from God that I prayed for and I learn joy from him. I can see Father in his big brown eyes and his being sighs peace. But despite his faith he uses sometimes pretty bad tongue and he's into violence. He even likes alcohol and tobacco.That's why I wonder why God led him to me? I mean it was he who was first interested in me. I'm asking this because he has a fiery nature and I'm opposite, like water. Anyway, he came here from elsewhere looking for happiness and I believe peace of mind as well. Behind his strong being he's a fragile person. Could I heal his wounds that linger at his heart? I've found Christ and I've been healed myself. Maybe God wants we're together for He wants to show my fiancé that he always has a chance for repentance. But he believes in God in his own way and that's enough for me.

Today I'm asking you, what is true love?

I think there is no greater example of true love than death of Jesus Christ on the cross, there's no greater love than his deeds and wisdom. No human can love as strongly, purely, passionately and certainly as Him. The whole New Testament is full of great examples of true love. I even think that Paul has expressed true love the best in his letters, especially in the 1st Corinthians.

Now I've answered to question who is true love but next I'd like to list some qualities that I personally see should be fulfilled in it, and excuse me if some of them are clichés: Your companion loves you the way you are in your natural God given shape - he/she wouldn't change anything in you. True love accepts every ethnicity and colour. So the second quality is that he/she loves you forgiving your mistakes and imperfection. True love is also honesty, loyalty and respect towards each other. It's also first caring about your companion, then about yourself. It's giving exactly what we need or in the best cases even more than we desired. True love is also fulfillment, passion, happiness, BLISS. True love is also family: there's no stronger bond between mortal than mother's devotion to her child. True love allows you to feel all kind of feelings from joy to sorrow and anger. It gives you a shelter from madness of the world: in true love we've found peace and harmony. And always remember this: even if your companion's love would forsake you, Christ's love never will; If I'll one day divorce with my fiancé I'll be forever married with Jesus Christ.