Thursday, July 18, 2013

Jesus turned my life around

Dear Christian sisters and brothers all over the world. Once again it has taken a few months that you haven't heard from me. This spring I was at the lowest point of my life and I realized that in order to be able to fulfill my mission in life and help others once again I should help myself first. In the end of April something happened that shook me awake. My unfaithful ex had promised me for months to leave his "secret" lover for me and our son and this should have happened before my son's 2nd birthday. The birthday was drawing close and an evening or two before that my voice within told me:" Tomorrow your life's going to change... whatever that means." To be completely honest with you now that I've seen what has followed since that evening I believe that the voice talking within me was GOD Himself! I'm reasoning this starting from the events of the next day: Me and my ex had our last heated fight about why he's treating me like that etc., why is he still staying in our apartment if he doesn't love me etc. etc. and the fight resulted finally in something that made me so shocked that I couldn't move for long time. From that moment on the house wasn't a home anymore and though our arguments had been serious for the past year now for the first time I seriously felt that I had to get out of there. At that very moment I didn't know what else to do than dial the Church Supporting number. I told this Christian elderly woman sincerely what had happened between us on that day and during the past year and she begged me to promise her that I would call police straight after we hung up. She also prayed something so beautiful for me and my son that touched me into tears and I dialed the number. So on that same day I ended up talking with a social worker as well and visiting a doctor that told me:" I think there are loyal men in this world as well." I went there for some sleeping pills but I after all never used them because only a week after that some miracles started happening :). I was staying at my parents when I started thinking whether I should start searching for company or not... To me this was a question of life and death because to me life is meaningless without love. Would my destiny be to die young and alone? Or would I finally find a man worth me?

The answer to the last question is YES. I have finally found my one true soul mate for life: the one who shares my faith, similar values and principles and life style and the one who knows and fulfills my needs and desires without me having to tell them aloud :). These are the most significant qualities of a soul mate but beside them we have also similar taste of music. He fulfills the most important qualities of the man of my dreams and his values, principles and life style match to those of mine and my parents. I also love his moral values of sharing and giving which match to mine. He proposed to me on June 1st so we've been now engaged for two and half months but we chatted all May so that makes 3 months of togetherness. I have finally found someone with who I can be true to myself. Our firstborn is due March 6th which will be my another fulfilled dream because I've wanted a minimum of two children. I have prayed since 2007 for something real and lasting and now I've found someone with whom to pray together and stay together. 

For the past two years my faith was sized of a mustard seed and for most of the days I was so depressed and stressed that I had no strength for my usual long prayers but I could just sigh and cross or simply ask:" God help me." But you see I received my miracle anyway :).  

  We prayed together with the pastor a lasting relationship for us and they sang a welcome song for me in the Anglican Church. It feels like destiny that we were both born on the 5th day of some month and that he belongs to Anglican Church because I've considered joining it whenever possible for a few years. Also it brings the taste of destiny into our lives that I used to nickname myself Annuli in 2004 and that I found almost the same name from the list of Igbo names: Anuli means "joy" and differs to my old nickname only by one letter. So God has given me a new name and a new life. For few years I've been complaining here in my blog lack of love and lack of money but now I'm richer emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially than I've been for ages. I still have little but I must be closer to abundance than ever before :). I feel blessed surrounded by my new Christian love, friends and family. I also enjoy learning this new African culture and language. Now only one thing is missing to make our abundance perfect: We must receive an apartment for our growing family by God's grace! 
I also didn't pass to university yet for Development Studies or Finnish Language & Literature but to my consolation I almost did pass the Finnish Language & Literature (yeah you heard me: I indeed didn't fail it but I was close to admission). But I'm not here to give up because I'm going to study for an academic year of Theology in Evangelical Institute which will help me to prepare for next year's Theology entrance exams or they make it possible that by studying this course I may have a straight admission to university without taking the exams first :). So my plan is to apply next year again for Development Studies, Finnish Language & Literature and Theology. It's wonderful about my upcoming Theology year that I'll be learning Greek, I'll have a chance to rehearse working in some non-profit and that I'll be attending divine services at school. To close my post I want to note the Nigerian gospel music that I uploaded for you to enjoy from Youtube :). 

Love knows no fear
"God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:16-18

I have never been before this brave in my life to call police about someone that I loved and to take him to court. I've never been this brave to leave everything behind and move to another town to follow my dreams. At first I was just extremely afraid with my ex and he was holding me back but then I met my husband-to-be and I wasn't afraid anymore. I learned this spring and summer two important Christian lessons: Having faith sized of a mustard seed is better than no faith at all and you have to have courage to LOVE again and follow your heart and dreams because GOD provides for you and He hears your tiniest, weakest prayer. 

I dedicate this blog post to Stanley, my husband-to-be :).


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