I told in one of my previous blog posts that I'm struggling with a learning difficulty which I can admit to be Maths - I do well in the rest of the subjects. My learning difficulty is so demanding that it might endanger my possibility to graduate but until now I've made the courses with help of my boyfriend's friends. To realize my dream of becoming a translator or an English teacher I must be really hard-working on this adult grade of high school so I can apply to university. To graduate from high school doing 4 baccalaureates would be enough but if I truly want to keep even the hope alive for achieving one of those degrees in university I must do 6. If I couldn't make my way to university my second considerable choice would be sign language interpreter studies in college. Because my baby is due on May my parents are worried about that I should quit my studying, but because adult grade of high school is studied at home there shouldn't be concern of that: I can do my courses while baby is sleeping by my side and as I'm anyway mostly at home I don't see a need for maternity leave or parental leave. So luckily I heard from The Social Insurance Institution that I can study during those leaves and still get the allowances. I've also admitted that we have some financial problems but now that my boyfriend has a better job we have seen a sparkle of hope. And as I'll be busy with doing my baccalaureates until 2012 or even 2013 that barely gives me time for publishing a book but I'm trying to realize this dream with realistic one year's delay.
Yes, this all sounds very demanding but there's something that keeps me going: Shakira has inspired me with her song Waka Waka, because every time I hear that song it's like she's talking about my struggles. Her joy and strength also gives me joy and strength. She's also convinced that quality education is the key out of poverty and for making young people's dreams true. She has said:" Education is a birthright and a quality education is the only tool that a child has to turn dreams into reality." So she's truly my inspiration in this life situation! I'm also ready to study hard for the sake of my baby because after university our financial worries are over. I have to say that these weeks Shakira has been the push for giving me faith to survive but I've seen the Sun Comes Out (Sale el Sol) also behind other clouds: my boyfriend's better job, my study advisor showed my bigger chance for passing the Math courses, TSII showed green light for both money and studying... My prayers are being answered but no-one else can after all lead me to success and happiness than myself. I have to keep on my positive, ambitious attitude no matter what. Though my parents would have rather liked our child not to be born yet I have also faith that God protects life and won't turn our hopes down. I have to believe that in these challenging circumstances God is with me. I believe that the faith that I've had towards my dreams at a very young age has also formed into belief in God during these years. After all God is the Dream Giver but that's all another blog post to come...
Before my spirit was a soft lamb and easy to slaughter in its weakness and humility. Now my spirit is still soft but it's strong and confident in its beauty like a lion that sunbathes in the heat of safari. The lion knows its purpose is to hunt the gazelle, to eat it and beat it - the same way we will beat our struggles and challenges. We will become superior to them just like lion rules the jungle, because Jesus Christ rules the world. Jesus Christ is superior to our struggles and challenges, because He suffered and died for us. That hope won't let us down.
Waka Waka (This Time for Africa) lyrics by Shakira
You're a good soldier/ choosing your battles/Pick yourself up/And dust yourself off/And back in the saddle
You're on the frontline/Everyone's watching/You know it's serious/We're getting closer/This isn't over
The pressure's on/You feel it/But you've got it all/Believe it
When you fall get up/Oh oh.../And if you fall get up/Eh eh...
Tsamina mina/Zangalewa/Cuz this is Africa/Tsamina mina eh eh/Waka Waka eh eh/Tsamina mina zangalewa/Anawa aa/This time for Africa
Listen to your god/this our motto/your time to shine/Don't wait in line/Y vamos por todo
People are raising/their expectations/Go on and feed them/this is your moment/no hesitations
Today's your day/I feel it/You paved the way/Believe it
If you get down/Get up oh oh.../when you get down/Get up eh eh...
Tsamina mina zangalewa/Anawa aa/This time for Africa/Tsamina mina eh eh/Waka Waka eh eh/Tsamina mina zangalewa/Anawa aa/Tsamina mina eh eh/Waka waka eh eh/Tsamina mina zangalewa/This time for Africa